© 1998 - 2001   Jim Pinto

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THE LEGAL MUGGING OF MICROSOFT

'Twas Thomas Penfield Jackson's court,
Joel Klein the key cohort
With Janet's Reno's full support
For the legal mugging of Microsoft

Reno has some egg on face
That WACO thing is a disgrace
Now, let's put Billy in his place
With the legal mugging of Microsoft


 

Sun's McNealy was crying out loud
Netscape and AOL joined the crowd
Oracle, IBM not too proud
To join the mugging of Microsoft

Microsoft has grown too huge
With strong-arm tactics, subterfuge
The evidence is a deluge
For the legal mugging of Microsoft


 

The supporting witnesses came in vain
Penfield brushed 'em off with disdain
Microsoft has too much to gain
Proceed with the mugging of Microsoft

It took 207 pages to describe
Penfield Jacksons diatribe
To prove he didn't take a bribe
For the legal mugging of Microsoft


 

Joel then he made a speech
Complimenting all and praising each
Praising Janet for her reach
In the legal mugging of Microsoft

So what will happen now and next?
Under what precedent, what pretext?
When the legal muscles are fully flexed
For the legal mugging of Microsoft


 

Concession points and remedies
Anti-competitive decrees
Million dollars a day in penalties
For the legal mugging of Microsoft

Break it up into Baby Bills
Anti-competitive codicils
Give away the Windows frills
For the legal mugging of Microsoft


 

As the tale continues to unfold
Microsoft's stock-price continues to hold
And Penfield ponders how he'll scold
In the legal mugging of Microsoft

This may take decades to unreel
They'll dance and dodge and then appeal
Justice hopes Bill will make a deal
To stop the mugging of Microsoft

NOW I'M SIXTY-FOUR

(to the tune of The Beatles' "When I'm 64")

When I was young, had more of my hair
Many years ago
I was always busy going off somewhere
Working hard, not a minute to spare

The years clicked by quickly one by one
Till I worked no more
I wasn't fired I just retired
Now I'm sixty-four.

You are older too
All of our pals and friends
Grown old with me and you

I can be handy mending a fuse
When our lights have gone
We rise and shine and run around the countryside
Every morning go for a ride

Getting a discount when dining out
Movies, plays and more
Regular exerciser, older and wiser
Now I'm sixty-four.

Day and night my email beeps
With cable modem always on
Almost seems like work
When it's late at night
Ideas flood my mind
Poems flow just right

Send me an email, click me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
JimPinto.com is ready to play

From my bully pulpit observing the world
My website is my door
I'm a defender, no hidden agenda
Now I'm sixty-four.

YOU ARE RICH, BROTHER WILLIAM

(originally published in Upside, February 1998)

"You are filthy rich, Bill,
And it's time to fulfill,"
Quoth the devil, "So let's not delay.
You sold me your soul;
You must pay the toll,
And I've come now to take you away!"

"But, I'm not quite done yet!"
Mr. Gates he did fret,
"There's a lot more to do 'fore I'm done!
Netscape is fried
And Novell almost died--
What's your hurry to spoil all the fun?"

"You gave me that plea
When I gave you for free
IBM on its knees!" Satan teased.
"You keep wanting more
Than Rockefeller before--
Pray when will you ever be pleased?"

"That was just at the start!"
Billy clutched at his heart,
"I thought I had done that myself!
You helped just a bit
With that OS/2 shit,
And you put Sculley back on the shelf."

"How much more do you need?"
The devil decreed.
He spat out some fire and cursed.
"I gave you all the applause
That Windows was yours
When Apple invented it first!"

"That was only a bone!"
Said Bill with a groan,
"It took me three tries 'fore we got it!
And then Win 95
Barely kept us alive--
You let Netscape grow to unknot it!"

"Netscape was not
My domain, you forgot,"
Satan spat. "You got lazy, and late!
Besides, I was the guy
Who let Apple fry
And gave you Jobs' head on a plate!"

"Now you wait just a bit!"
Said young Billy, and spit,
"Who brought on NetPC and Java?
This monopoly stuff,
Isn't that quite enough?
Do I need fire and brimstone and lava?"

"This Java's a shove
From the big guy above!"
Says the ghoul as his fiery breath fades.
Bill replied, "We can stop it,
We'll easily drop it,
It won't work with Explorer upgrades!"

"Please give me more time,
I am still in my prime!"
Pleaded Billy, "I've lots more to do!
Tweak Ellison's nose,
Stomp on Justice's toes,
WebTV and then Hollywood, too!

"Next we'll make a mess;
We'll take over the press
Move the White House to Redmond--the best!
That just leaves the Church,
That's the end of your search!"
And Satan was really impressed!

"Your plan is sublime,
I'll give you more time."
And the fiend disappeared with a nod.
Said young Bill with a smile,
"Just give me a while."
When the devil was gone ... he called God.

All poems are copyrighted property of Jim Pinto.

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