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I Truly Lament: Working Through the Holocaust is a collection of stories including inmates and survivors of death camps, disenchanted Golems complaining about their designated rounds, Holocaust deniers and their ravings, collectors of Hitler curiosa, an imaginary interview with Eva Braun during her last days in the Berlin bunker, a Nazi camp doctor subtly denying his complicity, and the love story of a Hungarian cantor.


“… Freese’s haunting lament might best be explained (at least to me) by something Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote about Herman Melville’s endless search for answers to questions that perplexed him all his adult life. Melville was incessantly obsessed with what one might call the why of it all—life, death, metaphysical mysteries. Similar to Freese, Melville was repeatedly afflicted with a dark and depressive state of mind.” —Duff Brenna, Professor Emeritus CSU San Marcos

—Duff Brenna, Professor Emeritus CSU San Marcos

“Freese says that ‘memory must metabolize [the Holocaust] endlessly,’ and his book certainly turns hell into harsh nourishment: keeps us alert, sharpens our nerves and outrage, forbids complacent sleep so the historical horror can’t be glossed over as mere nightmare. The Holocaust wasn’t a dream or even a madness. It was a lucid, non-anomalous act that is ever-present in rational Man. In the face of this fact Freese never pulls punches. Rather, his deft, brutal, and insightful words punch and punch until dreams’ respite are no longer an option and insanity isn’t an excuse.” —David Herrle, Author of Sharon Tate and the Daughters of Joy


 Other books by Mathias Freese
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Praise for The i Tetralogy at Library Thing: “Over the week it took me to read this novel, my anxiety level rose steadily. My jaws would be so soar when I woke up in the morning and I found them clenching for no reason throughout the day. My physical reaction is a testament to the power of the experience. The i Tetralogy would not have worked if it were written by a lesser author.”

Praise for Down to a Sunless Sea at BreeniBooks: “This is the type of literature that haunts the reader long after the book is put aside. Mathias B. Freese is a brilliant and talented author who inspires serious reflection.”


Praise for The Mobius Strip of Ifs by David Fraser of Ascent Aspirations: “[Freese] advocates that we rummage for ourselves, analyze our lives, live in the moment, de-condition ourselves, be anarchist against conformity and above all struggle to chisel out and define who we really are. This book, although deeply personal, is also an open-ended journey for learning to live with awareness and inner freedom.”